Keynote address. Young Statisticians Conference 2013. Abstract: For 25 years I have been an intrepid statistical consultant, tackling the wild frontiers of real data, real problems and real time constraints. I have faced problems ranging from linguistics to river beds, from making paper plates to selling pies at the MCG, from tax office audits to surveys about the colour purple. University education helps prepare you to be a statistical consultant in the same way that Google maps helps prepare you to cross the Simpson …